A dream, I thought
by Angeleia Kenobi
Summary: Where is Felyca? Where is Hawke? Why is Lelianna looking for both? And what in the Maker's name happened with Morrigan? THe set up for The Reason for Fear 2!
1. Chapter 1

_(Somewhere in the Free Marches – A random tavern inn on the road to Starkhaven along the Minanter River)_

Rain was falling in sheets around the tavern, forcing any and all sane travelers into it's sheltering walls and ordering all the hot cider that the small local staff could handle. At one table, near the back of the main room, sat a lone woman; her loyal mabari lying on the ground beside her feet, keeping watch of all the patrons as they began to mingle with each other. Every once in a while she would need to wave off the advances of one man or another, and when her own warnings weren't enough, his growls were. It was well after midnight before those whom she was waiting for arrived, properly drenched from the rain and tired from a weeks worth of traveling in the harsh weather. The mabari beside her got to his feet and let out a great 'woof', silencing the crowds and drawing instant attention to her.

One of the newcomers pushed back the hood of his grey cloak, revealing his close cropped black hair and shocking blue eyes. He made eye contact with the woman, gave her an imperceptible nod, then motioned for the group with him to follow as he made his way to her table. As the group sat down the noise level returned and the other patrons went back to their … "activities". The first woman raised her hand and ordered a round of cider for her companions as they new group began to remove their sodden traveling cloaks and other assorted wraps. The woman remained silent through it all, her grey eyes barely visible from beneath her drawn cowl. The first to speak was a young woman, seated next to the man who had identified the first, "And your name would be?"

The first woman smiled, waiting for the serving maid to leave before pushing her cowl back enough to reveal her face. Her eyes were a bright grey and seemed to dance with some hidden secret. Her nose was straight and the tip seemed to lift at the end, as though she had recently been pressing it against a paned window. Her lips were a deep subtle red and were parted slightly as she breathed. A few stray strands of purple brown hair were pulled forward from the depths of her cowl and fell down from her shoulder in a tight braid. There was something familiar about this woman... She was certainly Ferelden, there was no denying that, but... "My name is Felyca Theirin, but you may know me better as the Warden-Commander of Ferelden. You," she pointed to the other woman, "are the Champion of Kirkwall, Lady Hawke. Your brother has told me a lot about you."

Hawke smiled, "Please. Everyone calls me Hawke. It'd be nice to be called by my name once in a while. Rhiannon."

Felyca smiled and offered her hand to shake, "A pleasure to finally meet you, Rhiannon." Rhiannon was quick with the introductions, first with her brother Carver, then the Starkhaven prince, Sebastian Vael, a dark skinned elf with intriguing white tattoos named Fenris, and her own mabari hound, Fang. The two dogs were already acquainted with each other and were now simply lying on the floor, waiting for a spare bone or slab of meat.

The one name that caught Felyca's attention was Sebastian, and the air seemed to go out of her lungs. "Sebastian Vael... I hear you recently lost your family."

The prince set his jaw and glanced away before returning her pointed stare, "Yes? And what would you know about it?"

The corners of her mouth flicked upwards before she sighed, "You have my condolences, Prince Sebastian. Truly, you do. It's not everyday that someone issues a massacre..." she did laugh now, "Well. Not outside of Antiva, anyway." She put her hands on the table and they all caught sight of the finely tooled leather gauntlets she wore, coupled with the thick archers gloves. "I asked Warden Carver to bring you here so that I could remain anonymus within the Marches as I travel." She swallowed, as though she was fighting something. "I asked to see you specifically, Sebastian."

He gave her a soft smile and raised his eyebrows, "I'm honored, Queen Felyca. But I am only newly restored to my throne so I am curious, why would you want to see me?"

Again she swallowed, and her eyes were now glued to the table. For an instant she looked like so many other penitent faithful that he had helped in Kirkwall. Then she looked at him, straight into his soul with those eyes of hers. "I came to ask your forgiveness."

Sebastian chuckled, "And what could you possibly have done that would require _my_ forgiveness?"

"Murder." She took a quick breath before explaining, "It's because of my weakness that Grand Cleric Elthina is dead. Because of my love of a friend that this entire madness with the Chantry and mages is happening."

Sebastian was silent for a full moment while the others watched as their friend thought through what he had been told before leaning forward on his elbows, "And how is any of that your fault, my lady?"

She chewed her lip, let another round of cider be served before answering, "When I was the Warden-Commander in Amaranthine I recruited Anders, mostly to prevent his being taken back to the Circle accused of crimes he didn't commit, and I asked Justice to fight with us – after he had been forced from the Fade by a blood mage into the decaying corpse of another Grey Warden. Then, a few weeks later, after our fight against the Mother," she raised her hand to Rhiannon who looked like she was about to... "Don't ask, you won't like the image it conjoures. Anyway, Anders and Justice came to me with a proposition. Anders was going to allow Justice to... join with him. I had the obvious misgivings, but there was nothing I could do about it. Justice was living, if you could call it that, within the decaying corpse of a former Warden, at some point he had to do something! Spirit or not, I wasn't about to let him just die, but I couldn't think of anything to do for him. I could have ordered Justice to not follow his plan, but Anders..." she smirked and shook her head ruefully, "you knew him. Telling him what he could or couldn't do was something that you simply didn't do."

Rhiannon smiled but no one caught it as Felyca continued, "It was soon after their merging that I began to see changes in Anders. He grew more sullen, broody, he even kicked at Calen once!" The great mabari at her side let out a soft growl that was quickly answered by Fang before both dogs were quiet again. "I returned to Denerim, thinking that it was perhaps only my imagination about Anders. That he was simply needing more freedom than the Keep could afford him. I had other responsibilities in Denerim, overseeing the rebuilding from the Blight and helping the people of Ferelden return to a sense of normalcy – not an easy thing to do when your own bann turned against you to fight for a traitor." she sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead as though she had a terrible headache, "Sorry, that wasn't necessary. I caught wind of the Templars planning a raid on Amaranthine. There are several free mages in the Wardens, you must understand. The Templars seemed to think that they had the free rein to return _my_ Wardens to the Circle. I wasn't about to allow that. I got a message to Anders – he was the Templars main target – along with enough gold to get him to the Free Marches. I soon heard that Warden Stroud had been sent to clear out a nest of darkspawn in the Kirkwall area so I sent another letter warning him to be on his guard. That was the last I heard of him... until word of the destruction of the Kirkwall chantry reached us."

She blew out her breath and shook her head, "If I'd known then what I know now... If I'd known how much of a mess he would make, what would happen to Justice, I would NEVER have allowed them to become what they were. I wouldn't have let him leave Ferelden, where I could have kept an eye on him."

Sebastian set a hand on hers on the table, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke, forcing her to lean forward to hear him more clearly, "You've done nothing wrong, my lady. You had no way of knowing what would happen. You tried your best to care for your friend, and neither Elthina or the Maker would fault you for that. Elthina's death is not on your hands."

She snorted and grabbed up her mug, "You'll forgive me if I don't believe you." she took a long swig of her cider.

Sebastian returned her smile, albeit rather sadly, "You already have been."

Before she could respond a ruckus erupted near the front of the tavern. One of the locals had made a pass at on of the barmaids and that hadn't sat well with another of the drunken men. As tables were turned over and fists began to fly, the noise level raised to a thunderous roar and no one at the table could hear themselves think. That is, until Felyca stood and tossed back her cloak, revealing a fine cut of leather armor that framed a trim figure that curved in all the right places. There was a slight swish as a deadly longbow was brought forward and an arrow nocked. She only released one, but that was all she needed. It hit its mark on the far wall, cutting through the thickest of the fighting and was still twitching as the crowd all turned to see another arrow ready to fly as she glared at the worst of the lot.

"ENOUGH." Her voice was firm and clear. Exactly what the voice of a commander should be, and it was enough to have every last one of the combatants to release their holds and sit down very slowly, their eyes glued to the very angry heavily armed woman. "Right the tables and clean this place well. **Now.**" The people she was with looked around the tavern as tables were righted, chairs set around them. "Good. I think it's time that all of you head home. I doubt many of your wives would be happy to hear about your.. exploits this evening." Many men were nodding and all but all but their table and staff left for home while Felyca sat back down and returned to sipping her cider. Rhiannon looked at Felyca in shock.

"How did you do that!"

Felyca smirked, "I was the Warden-Commander, remember?" She finished her mug and slipped a small purse onto the table. "It sounds as though the storm has passed, so I must bid you farewell. This should be enough to cover tonights drinks and a pair of rooms."

Rhiannon lifted the purse and her eyes widened, "My lady... this is... too much! You don't have to pay for our rooms..."

Felyca raised a hand and shook her head, "Don't say a word. I asked you here, I will pay for your rooms. I need to get going though, before words spreads that I'm here."

Sebastian stood as well and bowed slightly to her, "Your Majesty, please allow us to escort you to your horse, at least." Felyca's mouth twitched in a smile and she nodded. As she stepped away from the table Sebastian offered his arm and the pair of born nobles led the way out of the tavern into the muggy summer night. Once outside Felyca tugged on Sebastian's arm to stop him and the others did as well, circling around her as she removed the glove on her right hand. "What are you..."

Felyca shushed him with a look, then knelt and placed her palm flat on the ground, whispering something that sounded remarkably like an incantation to Rhiannon. As she stood the ground seemed to shake as a great white horse with a ghostly mane and tale appeared from nowhere and came to a stop in front of Felyca. Sebastian's eyes bugged as Felyca walked towards the creature, its nostrils flaring with the exertion. "Allow me to introduce my horse, Oren." The group's jaws seemed to drop collectively – save Carver, who stepped forward to help Felyca mount the warhorse. Upon closer inspection it was obvious that the horse wore the typical trappings befitting a royal warhorse, with breastplate and leg guards along with a great skirt of chain that clinked softly when Felyca was hefted into the side saddle.

While Felyca adjusted her traveling cloak to flow more appropriately around her for shelter, Fenris suddenly spoke, "Ah, so that's why you wear the cloak." Felyca looked up from replacing her glove, her eyebrows raised, then smiled.

"Yes, Fenris. That is why."

His traveling companions remained confused until Carver clarified, "The Queen is expecting her first child."

Sebastian's eyes widened and he gave Felyca his most appealing smile, "Congratulations, Your Majesty. When might we be meeting Ferelden's heir?"

Felyca's smile faltered, "I wish I knew, Sebastian. I honestly wish I knew. This is technically my fourth pregnancy, and all those before it have ended in loss." She tightened her glove, a shadow passing before her eyes as she remembered that first. It only lasted a second, but it was long enough that Carver put his hand on Oren's flank to catch her attention. She shook her head then looked back at Rhiannon, "It is impossible for a Warden to even conceive, let alone have a healthy normal child. There was a lot of magic and prayer that went into the creation of this babe, and my hope is that the magisters of Tevinter might have the knowledge I need to preserve not only this childs well being, but also his right to Ferelden's throne."

Rhiannon stepped forward, putting a hand on Felyca's leg. "I wouldn't recommend Tevinter, Your Majesty. Blood magic may be your only recourse."

Felyca nodded, "I know, but blood magic is what I will need to free this child of the taint in my blood."

Rhiannon looked back at Fenris, who simply shrugged. Whenever Rhiannon got that look, there was nothing he could do to stop what she had in mind. As she turned back to the Queen of Ferelden, he smirked and shook his head. "My lady. If you are going to Tevinter, you are going to need an escort. Fenris and I will join you."

Felyca shook her head, "As much as you may be used to getting your way, Rhiannon. That I cannot allow. I need to travel as light and fast as possible, and in my experience, even adding one more to the group would slow us. Besides, Oren moves faster than the average horse, you wouldn't be able to keep up with us."

Fenris stepped forward, raising his hand to grab Felyca's cloak and force her to look at him, "Where in Tevinter are you planning on going?"

She shrugged, "To be honest, I haven't planned that far. I'm probably going to the Warden's Keep in Minrathous to start with, then discuss my situation with the others who live there. My hope is to be home by the birth of my son."

Sebastain chuckled, "You sound so sure that it will be a boy. How can you be that certain?"

Felyca's eyes rounded on him, the soft mirth that had been in them gone as she said in a no-nonsense tone, "Because I have seen him, held him and spoken with him." Her eyes softened and a hand fell to the soft lump that was her belly, "Besides, a mother knows these kinds of things. Or so I've been told." Her eyebrows raised and she slipped a hand into the confines of her cloak. She removed a thick package wrapped in white cloth and tied with a soft blue ribbon, "Can I ask you to do something for me?" Rhiannon nodded and Felyca handed her the package, "That needs to get to a contact of mine in Antiva. He knows where to send it from there, so don't worry about that, although I should warn you that he is rather... unique."

Rhiannon's brows knit together, "How so?"

Felyca chuckled and shook her head, "Believe me, when you meet Zevran, you'll know."

"Zevran? I think I've met someone by that name already..." Rhiannon had to think, but yes. The rather attractive elf that had asked her to eliminate some Antivan Crows.

Felyca's chuckle deepened to a laugh and she nodded, "Very well then. You will also know that you don't find him, _he_ finds _you._ Just spread it around that you are making a delivery for a 'deadly sex goddess' and he'll come."

Rhiannon laughed, "A deadly sex goddess?"

Felyca shrugged, "It's what he calls a captor who happens to be female..." She nodded her head to the group, gripped Carvers hand warmly, "Warden, take Calen back to Ferelden and the palace in Denerim. King Alistair will understand. I'd best make my farewells now, my friends, if I'm to make the border by dawn. With any luck, we shall see each other again soon!" With that, she dug her heels into Oren's flank and the great horse reared back, pawing at the air before they both disappeared into the misty night, heading for the Nevarran border.

Carver clucked to Calen, who cocked his head to the side then followed as the young warden walked back into the tavern. He was about to the door when he turned back to see his sister and her friends watching where the legendary Hero of Ferelden had vanished. "Where did she get that horse?" Rhiannon asked, making Carver laugh softly. He led the group back inside and up the hall to their rooms as he explained.

"She claims that horse was a gift. Although I've never understood quite from whom." Fenris raised his eyebrows, "She didn't give a name?" Carver raised his shoulders and shook his head, "Never gave one, although she did say it was someone who had once saved her life."

Felyca was halfway to the border as the sun broke over the landscape, its rays cutting through the mist around her and setting Oren's pure white coat to a glittery shimmer. She smiled as the beast threw his head back and let out a great whiny, summoning another horse of equal – if not greater – beauty racing to his side. Her mane was black as midnight and her eyes were a mystic purple. Felyca risked a glance at the mare and smiled widely before nodding at the creature, as though the mare could read her thoughts.

_Hello again, my old friend._


	2. Chapter 2

Leliana looked up from the book she'd been reading as a messenger entered her chambers at the White Spire. The boy was a young boy, his eyes wide and terrified as he approached the desk. "Sister?" She set her book down and waved him closer, trying to be as reassuring as she could. The boy was only about ten years old and clearly scared out of his wits.

She smiled gently, "What is it, child?" He lifted a folded missive and a cloth wrapped package.

"I was told to bring this to you... Sister Nightingale." Leliana's arm was extended for the missive when she froze and felt her heart skip a beat. The insignia pressed into the sealing was that of the Antivan Crows. And there was only one person she knew that would **write** her that would have access to one of those signet rings.

"Who gave you this?" her voice was softer than she thought it would have been and it took the boy a moment to answer. She could see the fears dance behind his eyes as he processed how she was acting and if it would come back to bite him in the end.

"It was an elf, Sister. He kept his cowl drawn so I couldn't see his face clearly, but he had a thick accent. He said that he'd been given this," he set the package on the desk between them, "from a... a..." the boys face turned bright red and he muttered something that Leliana didn't quite hear.

"What was that?"

He swallowed and raised his head to look as her as he whispered, "A deadly sex goddess."

Leliana grabbed up the package in a hurry and turned it over in her hands. There it was, hidden beneath the blue ribbon binding it, a seal that she hadn't seen in a very long time. A dark green laurel leaf flanked by a pair of fighting lions all set before a bright golden shield. It seemed as though the air in her lungs had been forcibly removed from her lungs as she sat down hard. "Sister?" Sister, are you alright?"

She looked up at the boy and nodded. "Here." she reached into the drawer of her desk and flipped a silver piece at him, "Thank you for bringing these to me." The boy bowed low and backed out of the room, closing the door tightly behind him. Leliana waited for the lock to click before cracking the seal and reading the short letter.

_ Well, Felyca. Let's see what you've been up to._

Sister Nightingale,

When you have finished this note, burn it. And burn it well, leave no trace that you received any word from me. First, know that I am alive and well cared for. Zevran, as much as he protests, loves having me here. And because of his nearness we are safe. I understand that my disappearance has caused a bit of a disruption but believe this, it was necessary. Alistair has control over Ferelden at the moment, though I don't know how long that will last. He has Fergus and Nathaniel helping him, but I don't know how much longer I can remain away. Oghren has control of the Wardens as their new Commander and I trust him implicitly – although, I hear his drinking has gotten worse in the recent years.

There is something I need to tell you about what happened to me in Amaranthine, and it isn't a very pretty picture. I hope you'll not think the less of me because of what I did... but perhaps you will, after all, it isn't something that I would want published to the world. In the package is the journal that I kept during the Blight and my time as Warden-Commander, along with all the correspondence that I received and a copy of all that I sent. I only can hope that it helps to explain why I left.

I hope you can understand my reasons, Leliana, and perhaps pull whatever strings you can to help me. Enclosed at the end of the journal is another letter that contains information vital to the survival of the mages and most importantly it will help with returning and maintaining peace in Thedas. I will get back to you and Alistair as soon as I can... as soon as I'm delivered.

My best to you, Justinia and many congratulations on your appointment to the Seekers. May the Maker watch over you.

Felyca Theirin

Leliana tore into the package and flipped through the pages, scanning a paragraph here and another there. It appeared that the first two thirds of the book was dedicated to the Blight and their time together on the road, while the final third was about Amaranthine. Unable to stop herself, Leliana skimmed through to look for Felyca's entries about her wedding but all she found was the description of her dress, the ceremony, their vows written verbatum and then a removed page with a small note tucked between the pages saying _"I know what you're looking for, and no you can't know what I wrote."_ She smiled to herself and shook her head, then flipped the book over to open the back page and read the secret note. It was short sweet, and too the point.

_How like Felyca._


	3. Chapter 3

_For my stalker, you know who you are. Just a short piece of sugary fluffiness overload. You have been warned!  
><em>_Love, Angeleia!_

Felyca's head was lying on the desk, a slip of parchment in front of her as she slept. It was only half full, and only down one column's worth. She'd been making a list, and somehow her mind had wandered from the original purpose to something far closer to her heart... then sleep had won out.

Daughter of Teyrn Cousland

Grey Warden

Kadan

Hero of Ferelden

Wife of Alistair Theirin

Queen of Ferelden

Warden-Commander

Arlessa of Amaranthine

Mother

Her eyes were glued to that last word. Mother. It had been something she'd dreamed about since she was a child, to hold a baby of her very own. To sing her mother's lullabies to, tell Nan's stories to, teach her Father's weapons tricks to... To give one of Calen's pups to. Calen was lying at the head of the cradle, facing the door with his head on his front paws. Ever since the princes' birth he'd been there, protecting the newborn from everyone save Felyca and Wynne. The mage was nearing the end of her life, this birth being the last that she would oversee. She'd only returned from Tevinter at Felyca's request and was currently making arrangements for a nurse to be brought in to help Felyca when she left. Now there were footsteps coming down the hall and his head lifted, a soft growl ready at the back of his throat as the doors to the chamber opened.

Calen let out a yelp and Felyca jumped. The mabari hadn't let out a sound like that in years and her mind flashed with images of Howes attack. The sight before her when her eyes opened wasn't much better and she sat up quickly, the small dagger she kept in the desk in her hand and pressed against the intruders neck before they could blink. "Step away from my son." Her tone was low and hushed, trying to keep the sleeping infant asleep. The mans hands raised and he leaned away from the cradle, showing surrender. As he got to his feet, Felyca followed, maneuvering herself between him and her baby. "Who are you?" she hissed.

"Only a fool would kidnap this child with you to guard him, love." The dagger lowered slightly as she tried to peer into the shadows of the traveling cloak the man wore.

"Alistair?" His hands went to the hood and the thick fabric fell back to reveal his face, somehow more haggard than before he'd left. Whatever it had been that he'd seen on his quest for Maric, it had changed him. She could see it in his eyes. Eyes that were now staring at the dagger she still held pointed at his heart, "Are you going to put that away or do I need to disarm you?" She looked down at her hand and released the blade, letting it fall to the fur rug beneath their feet. Alistair dropped his hands and reached for her, letting her walk into his embrace, "I've missed you." He looked at the cradle behind her, "Both of you." She nuzzled closer to him, wrapping her arms beneath his cloak. "We've missed you too." Alistair grinned and pushed her gently aside, kneeling once again at his son's beside.

When last he'd seen his son, Duncan Bryce was still waking at all hours of the night to eat. He'd once joked that he had the appetite of a Warden, but the joke was short lived. Neither parent wanted to consider the sad fate they would share for their precious little one. Surely he could be spared that, the magic used to bring him into this world should have cleansed him of the taint from his parents, making him as healthy as any other babe. Now the boy was sleeping peacefully near the fire wrapped in a soft velvet blanket, bearing the new Theirin coat of arms, to ward of the winter chill. He reached out a finger to stroke the soft skin at his cheek, round and chubby as a chipmunk. "He's grown."

Felyca smiled, "He's beginning to walk. He hasn't taken a step on his own, but he will soon." She knelt beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder, "I hope you'll be here to see it." the unspoken question hung between them: Had Alistair found what he'd set out for? Turning to look at his wife, Alistair couldn't help but see the passage of time beginning to show on her face. The laugh lines around her eyes, the hints of smiles past around her mouth. Even that fascinating purple brown hair was giving way to grey. He knew he didn't look much younger, that the taint was starting to claim his youth as well. He reached out a hand and ran his fingers through her loose hair, "I've been gone for too long. I'd almost forgotten how beautiful you are." she smirked and rolled her eyes, "Ten years together and you're still as adorable as the day I met you. How do you do it?" He laughed softly, pulling her close, "Magic. Just like everything else in our lives, only this is my own special brand."


End file.
